Ten years on: what I wish I’d known moving from South Africa to Australia

In early 2016, my wife and I left the KwaZulu-Natal coast with a few suitcases and a one-way ticket. We’d never been overseas. We’d never set foot in Australia. Everything we knew about our new home came from friends who’d gone before us, a lot of reading, and Google Street View.

Ten years on, Australia is home. Getting here was harder than I expected in some ways and better than I hoped in others. This is what I wish someone had told us.

Leaving felt like mourning

Leaving home for good is a kind of grief. We had a good life on paper: a house, a mortgage, work we were happy with, family close by. We’d even decided to stay and put down roots. But a quiet push kept getting louder, until we both knew we had to go.

Crime and the direction the country was heading were part of the picture, but they weren’t the main reason. We wanted a secure future, and more than anything, we wanted an adventure. Years later I realised I don’t mourn the country I left so much as the country it could have become.

We’d planned on Brisbane, because the climate felt familiar. Then a chance conversation with an Australian traveller, over dinner on a cold weekend away, put Melbourne in our heads. When our permanent residency came through, Melbourne it was.

Landing with nothing

I’d found a job by video interview, and they wanted me to start almost straight away. We sold nearly everything in a few weeks, said some very hard goodbyes, and flew out on a string of long flights. We landed on a Friday evening, completely spent.

That first night we walked out for dinner at half past eight and it was still light. Golden sun on old buildings, crisp dry air, and the bells of a level crossing every few minutes. Where had we found ourselves?

The first weeks were a blur of inspections in 40-degree heat, competing with a crowd of other people for every rental. We found a place in the final week. It was new, and completely empty. We ate dinner sitting on the bed, bought two plastic chairs and carried them home, and watched shows on a laptop balanced on the washing machine box. It was hard, and strangely freeing. You learn how little you actually need.

Then friends of friends sold us their old car for a bargain and let us pay it off in instalments, just to help a couple of new arrivals. I’ve never forgotten it. The world is full of good people.

The first winter

I’ll be honest about this part, because I think a lot of people go through it quietly. My first job turned out badly: poor pay, a toxic culture and impossible expectations. As the days got shorter and colder, I sank lower than I had in years. I missed home, I missed the sun, and I started questioning everything.

My wife saw it before I said a word, and she made sure I wasn’t carrying it alone. Together we decided I’d leave that job. It was the right call. If you’re in a dark patch after a move, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, and it doesn’t mean you’re weak. Talk to someone. There’s a list of free services at the end of this story.

The turn

I’d run my own business for more than a decade, so I gave self-employment a real go for about six months: new brand, new website, networking, the lot. I loved the freedom, and I could charge more for my work than I could back home. But it wasn’t a proper salary yet, and that’s hard when you’re new.

So I went back to job hunting, but this time I took my time and only went for roles I was genuinely skilled at and that paid well. One came through at a great organisation, and that changed everything. Two steady incomes make life a lot easier.

Trading the city for the coast

We loved Melbourne: the public transport, the events, the cafes and restaurants. But it’s big and busy, and we’d come from a small coastal town. We missed the ocean and wanted to live closer to nature. After two years we moved to a small coastal town in regional Victoria. For the first year we still commuted to Melbourne for work, until we found jobs in a regional city closer to home. It was worth it. If you’re weighing it up, read why a regional city might beat Sydney or Melbourne.

When home moved

Before COVID, we went back to South Africa at least once a year. About three years in, one of those trips felt different. Less familiar, less us, less home. We caught ourselves missing our house, our dogs and our life here. We were homesick for Australia. That was the moment I knew.

What still surprises me

The freedom. Going for a walk at any hour without worrying. Neighbours leaving bikes and tools in the front yard. Cars parked on the street, untouched. People out walking, running and swimming whatever the weather.

At first we thought Australians were a bit naive. Then it dawned on us that what we’d grown up with wasn’t normal. It was trauma we’d stopped noticing. These freedoms are normal to us now, but they’re still special. Some days we stop and count our blessings.

What I miss

I thought I’d miss the food. I don’t: the variety here is incredible. What I miss is having your people. Family and old friends who get your humour and your history. A braai where everyone brings something.

Making friends as an adult migrant is tough. Most Australians already have big circles from school, uni and work, and they’re not out looking for more. We found friendships came more easily with other migrants, and through what I think of as a common inroad: a sports team, a club, or if you have kids, the school gate. When your family is thousands of kilometres away, friends become a lifeline. More on that in making friends in Australia.

Ten years on, I think in Australian terms. I don’t convert prices any more. I only hear South African news when family tell me. I thought I’d miss it more than I do.

What I’d tell us on that last flight

1. Use the excitement as fuel. Get out every weekend: new places, new food, new cafes. If you stay insular, it’s harder. Exploring broadens your perspective and helps you cope.
2. Your first job is a stepping stone. Take it, build Australian experience, then step up. Don’t judge the whole move by it. See finding work in Australia.
3. Get ready for the first winter. Plan things to look forward to, chase the sun, and talk when it gets hard.
4. Look after each other. A move like this tests any couple. Notice when the other person isn’t okay.
5. Bring more money than you think. Setting up a home from scratch adds up faster than you expect. See what it really costs to move.
6. Furnish smart. In lots of suburbs people leave furniture they don’t want on the footpath, and you can find great pieces (ask the owner first and check your council’s rules, as some treat taking it without permission as theft, and remember you have to get it home). Aldi’s weekly Special Buys can save you a lot on household items. Buy staples at Aldi and top up elsewhere, and find your local market: Melbourne has big ones like Queen Victoria, Prahran and South Melbourne, and lots of towns have a weekend farmers market.

If you’re still deciding

For years, people talked about America as the land of opportunity: safe streets, white picket fences, a fair go. Honestly, I think that describes Australia. There’s opportunity here in every sense of the word, and the Aussie attitude of giving it a go goes a long way. Come with humility, be willing to work hard, and you’ll find your feet.

Start with is Australia right for you? And if you’ve made the move yourself, I’d love to hear how it went: share your story.